I was living in Bedford Stuyvesant at the time. It was Tuesday morning and I had descended the steps of the row house. The hoax of the grey skies made the cool shorter days ahead seem romantic but uninspiring if that’s possible. A mangy couple in their twenties emerging from the garden level of a well-kept Brownstone across the street for some reason gave my stomach a hollowness. These four story buildings had been purchased for a “song” - twenty to thirty thousand dollars, some for as low as a dollar when the neighborhood was a ghetto. Now the millennium crowd had rediscovered the hand carved fireplaces and doorways, marble counter tops and hard wood floors finished to a gleam.
The duo in grungy jeans and tee shirts looked like a pimp and one lonely hoe fallen from grace, working truck stops, shop lifting and now this. I watched them with my peripheral vision as they crossed the street and fell in behind me. I was carrying my laundry in a large sports bag. It was light so I kept a fast swagger fitting in with the neighborhood.
I scanned the small brown paper bag in his right hand. It looked like it might be concealing a piece of hardware, maybe even a revolver. This could be a hit so I scanned them again, to make sure they stayed a safe distance behind me. Almost to the corner and not making up the distance he handed her the bag. “Hold this,” he said. She put it into her shoulder bag.
When I turned the corner I made a dash for the street lifting my load over my head to squeeze between the cars. I dodged the whizzing traffic to the other side and turned to see them round the corner and immediately enter a Bodega. It looked like it was a hit and they didn’t want to pass through “Blood” and “Crypt” territory.
This black cat I had been staying with one day passed through these blocks ahead of me slapping palms and glancing back in my direction me, “That dudes alright. He’s with me.” He had cased me back in the “three-quarter” house and deduced that as hard to believe as it was, I was trouble shooting the neighborhood or something; overseeing the children, schools and their teachers amongst other things. I had also helped him and this Puerto Rican guy, both fresh out of the joint, to avoid being set up. They’re ruses would have gotten in my way. The Puerto Rican guy left soon after the black cat and on that day had put something in my hand. It was one of those small square yellow “Stickum note papers” folded up. Nobody saw him do it. On it was written simply, “thank you”.
Rarely a day goes by without me wondering if I’m doing the right thing and that maybe I should quit this role of watchdog/overseer in the communities I visit. I recall the people who are too busy to care and those whom I know didn’t or don’t .., unlike the two cats back at the “three-quarter” house. It also bothers me, the small fortune (measured in ghetto figures) I gave up for this thirty year plus campaign and that I haven’t been compensated by the groups who asked me on this journey in the first place.
Then I remember the pain on the faces of those tricked into slavery and the ruthlessness of my adversaries. I remember the sacrificial child rapes and the children set on fire for some esoteric ritual. I remember being abroad and the nonchalant face of a man who had allegedly raped fourteen little boys over a ten year period and his neighbor who it was rumored had gang raped two young boys with his partner. Some of those children it was purported were so badly marred their abusers hired people who specialized in the termination of such cases and I somehow suspect that the children were buried in fresh graves at night not unlike a cemetery I sometimes passed on the Metro.
Back to the present, from the kitchen window back at the “three quarter house” there was a little boy barely four feet tall, born without a backbone who attended a special school, being carried onto the school bus on a gurney every morning. In the afternoons I would watch him return home peering up to the sky through his horned rimmed glasses as if a reason for this existence floated somewhere up there amongst the afternoon clouds. He resisted the vestige of fear on his face trying hard to conceal the things he might expect that evening - his caretaker was the only family he had, receiving two thousand plus dollars a month to take dare of him. It didn’t work. Few people knew that he was renting the disabled boy out for sex and had been experimenting on him, seeing how much pain his heart or testicles could bear. One of the guys where I stayed suggested he understood the rituals being practiced there and because others who had visited the house had little or no money sex with the disabled boy cost next to nothing.
It was a preview to the resurgence of slavery seeping into the area. They start with the handicapped and then moved on to the rest of the community. I didn’t know who exactly was orchestrating this trend but abusing the handicapped in any form is a bad idea. It was raining one afternoon as I peered down from my window to the tiny youngster being brought into his house on the gunnery. I wanted him to feel that someone cared and was watching and that something had been set in motion that would free him from his torment. It would happen before a few weeks passed. I’m still amazed at how astonishingly brave he must have been.
There are two beasts in life and I have been in the belly of both of them. It is from whence I speak as this commentary is written to attest to. I was and am able to garner solutions to the myriad of debacles facing our society because I had been trained to understand and engage the source of our woes. I had been prepared for seven years beyond college and graduate efforts, community, business and work experience to do just this. Rather than one big campaign, for the most part my journey has been comprised of many battles. Many were smaller "jobs" lasting a few months while others were larger with expanded demographics lasting a few years. But they were mostly similar to the structure, complexity and desolation described here.
I have to say these things, for one because I’m, black which might be why I was chosen for this "journey" being able to fit easily into almost any venue. But it needs to be said that a black man operated on this level and was successful in these many battles which comprised a much larger campaign. In all honesty the larger campaign is failing.
A second descriptive might portray me as a failure, dedicating thirty years of my life to what has evolved as an ethically principled campaign that wasn't or isn't successful however hopeful I remain. I must add too that an ethically principled endeavor wasn't intended as my original purpose but the request was to follow a particular directive according to my demeanor and follow it I did. That commitment has led me to this three/quarter house for the disenfranchised and those recently released from incarceration. It was assumed, rightfully I admit, and due to my preparation that I would know what to do in these situations.
No matter how these circumstances are portrayed one could say with confidence that one amongst us had mounted a gallant fight for our children and our future; scoured the bellies of both beasts; sorted out and engaged the hoodlums, terrorists along with countless others who were supposed to be hardworking and honest. I might add that the so-called "hardworking, honest" individuals were the most horrific of all. I would go for weeks with out sleep around and when it did come I had learned to literally sleep with one eye open. Although I really couldn't see anything it was a matter of staying half awake. I had worked and fought until my arms locked or were too heavy to raise. My legs not to be bested seemed timed to lock or give out as well at their most needed moments.
I have to wonder if it was because I was seen to be successful in spite of these occurrences that I fell out of favor with those gents who had originally asked me on this campaign. Candidly speaking, most of those gents are probably no longer around and their successors probably aren't familiar with the scope of this campaign. However, they should be witness to the severity of the events and situations as they arise and should be able to recognize and understand what I do. I can see no excuse for my lack of support.
Now, after thirty years of it I admit that a certain economy defines my actions. The engagements have become battles of the mind - spiritual fracases, opposing ideas from opposite quarters vying for power and position. For example, who is to say that one religion is better than another when they both believe in the same things; you cannot steal, lie or harm another person etc.? Who is to say one political system is better than the next when the same people who have money in a dictatorship will be the same ones with money if it become a democracy and visa versa? They are often analogous conflicts and the physical properties they assume like those demonstrated above are the actual areas of concern. In the example above, slavery was and is a largely mental exercise but there it took on physical properties when the man who claimed ownership of the disabled boy started experimenting on him and renting him out for sex. It’s the same in other cases where sacrificial rape, ritualistic immolation, forced labor and more is present. More often than we realize it is our behavior that needs address and adjusting more than the system, institution and/or the acts themselves.
Adding to my own difficulty, I must engage my adversaries who make use of pious implements indicative to their particular culture and religious beliefs and me without even practical support. Just my experience and general knowledge of these has to prove sufficient. That is not meant in any way to berate these practices but rather to explain how complex my job has been and so to support my desire now to retire and receive compensation.
Where else can a lack of support, a lack of credit for my successes and importantly a lack of compensation point to? Support, credit for one's accomplishments and compensation after thirty years would be the tools of my trade for such and future endeavors. Knowledge and experience are useless if because of a lack of financial support, approval is inconsistent, I have no credibility or support and I lack mobility and access to the resources I need. As tools they are enabling which is important for what I was asked to do. Most important is that these things point to the campaigns failure and I am exhausted. However, in all honesty true stories like the one above make it hard to stop in spite of my wanting to move on to other things, perhaps even writing. I keep waiting for the cues but they don’t come.
Further, it should be stated that I took an oath and was asked on this campaign. I did not volunteer. The gents who urged my parcipitation apparently had done their homework and knew they were asking these things of someone with suitable ability. The above job was one of many over a thirty year period and from that you may conclude that the campaign itself was an important undertaking and thus me recognizing this, would finance it diluting my small "fortune". I may push myself physically but I have exhausted myself financially. The campaign's and my own coffers need address.
That having been said, I say to you with momentous urgency that It doesn't look good for us black folks. Some of us don’t have to see over the horizon to know what’s there. We should be alarmed. If we do nothing we have only ourselves to blame. Be we then, the culprits of our own demise.
Finally, do remember that peace is a strategy but so is work, diligence and patience. Live them hard.
Excerpts from my books are available on www.nilopub.com.
Leslie Lox, author and principal of “The Potential Enterprise Company” and also “The Nigel and Loxy Publishing Company” along with co-principal Henry ‘Butch’ Williams
Silence is consent. Nay to be silent to someone else’s misdeeds signs on to courage but in the same breath, to be silent to his own misdeeds, one invites a special calamity to arrive at the worst moment."
I’ve said many times that the only true revolution will be of our thinking – true especially in our community. We must reevaluate our priorities and resolve ourselves to them. We must have our brightest minds explore alternatives and options never before considered as well as those passed over. We must think outside the box. Perchance there is a revolution it will be between we people of color; those who favor authoritarianism or totalitarianism versus those who believe in democracy: those who favor slavery to those who believe in freedom to choose; those who are tolerant of past indiscretions and those who favor one paying one’s debts. Other people including white folks and the rich will stand on the sidelines. The fight for a black consensus will not be their fight.
If our community does not peacefully revolutionize its thinking, consider the lack of diversity at the Oscars. Consider basketball again and sports, then black business and academics and picture them being adjusted according to the current trend of our black authoritarianism. Picture then, despotism further deconstructing our processes and everything we touch within those categories becoming toxic. If you cannot do that take another route and remember what prewar Germany was like.
If you can in fact process the above, does your honesty and courage extend to question that our dilemmas might be our own fault? How brave would that be? The query would follow, what did we do to bring this debacle upon ourselves and specifically who was/is responsible? Were they asleep on their watch or was there a method to their felony? The answers to the above ... will offer the best route to the final question: What do we do about it?
The reason given for our dilemmas people say is that the system is rigged for the “wealthy ruling class” i.e. the ‘club’ on Wall Street” which is unacceptable to me as a reason or as an excuse. We simply must learn the accounting methods they employ. We must too, learn their method so when they change the rules as they have been accused of doing we will know how to address the situation. We are not lazy. What happened? I should add also that some rigging or better, manual adjustment would be required of any socio economic method given the numbers, the diversity, demographics and the obscure mechanics involved. However that doesn't mean these variables cannot be regulated and so do not now justify the abuse that may be occurring presently. Only a principled ethical structure would give us a better alternative. The foundation they have provided for our republic has already been established and is included in our constitution,
If we do these things they will lead us to the ultimate solution which is ethics. Ethics is of such influence, think that if the black church were not to adhere to the ethical core etched within our genes, black society would come tumbling down. Think that if the FBI or Homeland Security were not to adhere to the essentials of our human ethical code our society would not be enjoying a free, and fair homeland and the opportunities she provides. Our task only becomes to stay vigilent and participate in the system on every level. Ethics is the human spiritual glue. It is the magic that causes us to be curious, reason and walk upright. Without it we might be insects, dust floating on afternoon sunlight peering through venetian blinds.
Only ethics gives us DNA, reason and wisdom, the miracle which attracts to it “practical” elements forming molecular structure. It's glue is the myth and magic which caries us forward. It is this which men have altered to their own benefit and for which ethics returns as a remedy. Believe henceforth that ethics is the basis of our existence and that without it we are but those insects and dust mites. It might be the one rule of nature your spirit adheres to or dies, the physical self, following later. We are in that “later” now.
If I may go further, its important to define "later" as having two connotations the first of which is stated above. The second ,refers to time as it incurs patience and is in that way our most important asset. I remember once hearing someone say that they could trace their lineage back to a particular tribe in central Africa. Many of us can do that but for those of us who don't or cannot this is where time is an asset. It was less than 200 years ago that we were living amongst our original families back in Africa. Most white families may trace their lineage back to Europe only about an additional 100 years before that. The point is that 100,000 years from now, if we are all still here 200 years or so will mean nothing. We must view and address patience and time as assets.
Humans are a young species as are the few races that have survived. If we start now to change our thinking to be more friendly towards growth and progress we can achieve the objectives that are important to us. Think that we have wined and complained to the heavens that we are equal to all its expectations and that now the universe is testing us. We have proven our endurance and now we must prove our patience.
As for how I arrived at this position, I confess to being of the old school though of the hustler class. I admit to having been a fringe player - more style than substance, more wanting to be in the legit big game and so hustling just enough to gain access to its contest and avoiding any penalties. Sober now, I've learned to navigate the modern dilemma as a peaceful adventurer. The idea is not bought by everyone as not everyone wants peace and resolution. It takes but a few and I imagine that if they were to wake up one morning and find their crisis’s resolved that they would immediately start creating new ones. Mines is an arduous and even dangerous path. It is an old story where when staying in one place too long, you listen for word of contracts put out on you as people discover what you do. They come alongside the praise but grossly outweigh it so my adventure is every bit risk and work. I see every day in it the equation where force begets more force and then so it affects spiraling. Peace is a proven strategy. Consider the above, live the strategy and be wise … forever is a long time
Leslie Lox, author, principal of “The Potential Enterprise Company”. My, or really our adventure on www.nilopub.com
Peace is a strategy. Live the strategy.
My views before the primaries, my insurance, our reality.
I am fearful of a Trump, Palin collaboration. We need intelligent, thoughtful, decisive government that can act wisely on the issues. We do not need government that is one sided if it is not uninformed, reactionary or incendiary. All change must occur in our thinking before it occurs anywhere else.
A Small Era in Natures Method
We are silent to the truths in front of our eyes inviting catastrophes we can’t even imagine. Our community has lost not one but several steps on our journey. At issue is a newer slavery along with other disparities regarding our black institutions and as we are too silent, they swell to smother us. We are not the people we used to be. We should be feeling shame …to even whisper of our ancestors is sacrilege.
As the Truth Closes in … There’s Always Tomorrow
Reason and Change
The Potential Enterprise Company E-letter
January 2016 - Reason and Change: A New Strategy
February 2016 The Truth ... There's always Tomorrow
January 2017 ... A Small Era in Nature's Method
We have now entered what the newspapers are calling the Trump Era. Although some of us disagree with what are shaping up to be his policies we have to wait and see how these initiatives develop. Although it does seem like some of what he is doing is in contrast to what former president Obama has affected, we have to put his initiatives in proper perspective. We see however that the current president elect is criticizing the former president’s policies and is in the process of dismantling them.
It was Bill Gates opinion during an interview recently when he said that it would help if President Trump’s initiatives were explained. I believe he was referring to an explanation for a wall along the Mexican, U.S. border; that the time and facts of a former era have expired and we have failed to exercise a more humanitarian solution for the refugee crisis. I believe also that his reason why we should exit NAFTA, TAA and other one sided trade agreements is that we are experiencing a disproportionate economic global burden and our trading partners have failed to help lighten it. There is a reason also for our tough stance with North Korea. There is an order and balance to the planet and we all must ensure to the best extent possible that groups and nations who wield power use that influence responsibly. Perhaps it is because he is a businessperson that the president - elect is not used to explaining himself.
But we deserve to know more than what an acute “emotionless” dictate offers us. Here is how I see it. There is a method to evolution as it becomes history and Obama was a part of that method. Former president Obama was an outstanding president and his positions and policies were correct for their time. The idea is to not destroy the history he created which was calculated to benefit humanity and right for its time but to recognize that he was one president of forty-five presidents who simply did his job within the dictates of his era. When our world society claims to be humane we cannot skip steps in a process which claims to be humanitarian. Obama’s policies had to be played out and now as we have exhausted those ideas we know with more certainty what the next step should be. Some of President Trump’s ideas happen to be a part of that next step. In 4 or 8 years we'll eventually exhaust his ideas and the next president will inherit his chair and take the process through to the next step. As with all ideas it may be that not all of President Trump's ideas are viable, so our job is to work together and discern which of them are, implement them and bypass the ones which are not.
What we are seeing is a process and former president Obama and now president-elect Trump, in the scheme of things, are actually small parts of that process. The idea of this paper is that explaining our new president’s initiatives would be helpful and possibly make much of the criticism all around unnecessary. Altering and changing some of the aspects of the present policies and ideas are a better explanation than portraying an abrupt departure from them. The idea is to continue the process. If we look closely, the policies and ideas are connected purposely, designed to evolve and lead us to the next step.
For our part, we might ask ourselves, why there weren’t more tangible benefits for our community during the Obama presidency. From where I stand the black community should have been positioned to benefit from Obama’s presidency. Surely President Donald Trump and his supporters are. Why weren’t we prepared? Where were our local leaders and supporters and what were they busy doing? Where was the structure to collect the benefits as they were supposed to trickle down? If there is a flow to history … there is also a back flow. Why so?
Look around the next time you walk down the street. Notice the stores, businesses and occasional schools but notice too the churches often spaced only a few buildings apart? In each church are comprised the pastors, ministers and/or preachers; evangelists and Bishops, deacons, elders, board members and others. That it is not unusual for every board member of a moderate size church to have a net worth of over a million dollars is to say that the group even after omitting a few movie and music stars and athletics comprises the majority of the black middle class. Without judging whether it’s good or bad, it states also that it doesn’t matter what groups, civic or political; what organizations or fraternities the followers and congregation belong to, they all knowingly or unknowingly support physically, emotionally and financially the economic group above I referred to as our dominate middle class. The question now seems to ask, who within our middle class is in control of our future? How are their interests vested or not vested in our future and what are they willing to do to protect those interests.
It is a trick question only if the revenue this group recognizes is unscrupulous. The risks to our future are so great that it has to be proposed, that if some of them are guilty of receiving illicit revenue or other sins it is vital that we separate them from the herd. If there was or is unscrupulous revenue recognition by some of them then because we are all connected we are all responsible and the credibility of a billion people is at risk. We have to ask what it means, when on critical levels one or worse a group cannot be trusted with secular or pious variants, constants, fluctuations and information? Can a human consensus vote him or them toxic socially, in business or academia? It is a severe level of honesty that we need which even if minuscule, it would hold solutions and value for us that we are desperate for. The measurements of our involvement needs to increase. The credibility of a billion people is not a small thing. What we do today is forever. One person or several people cannot do it all alone. The silence of the majority is hurting …
The Potential Enterprise Company invites your comments: email@example.com
The books, “RoadWindows” and “Potent Enterprise” are available once more as e-books for a limited time on Amazon as I edit them for printing. We’d like you to know also that we are still entertaining the idea of an outside traditional publisher for them. Please view an excerpt on Nilopub.com
Just when you were about to not miss us … Leslie Lox, author and principal of, The Potential Enterprise Company and along with Henry “Butch” Williams, principal of “Nigel and Loxy”.
Peace is a strategy. Live it like you mean it.